By now, you may be familiar with pronouns as they relate to critical ongoing conversations about gender identity and expression. You may even be used to sharing your pronouns with others, and your employer may have even suggested ways to share them in the workplace. This is a great step, but it’s likely employees could first use a bit more upfront education around why this is becoming the new standard. To get to this point, people within the LGBTQ+ community have long been questioning and negotiating the impact language has on gender identity and expression. Now, as the call for correct pronoun usage reaches a wider audience, it’s fair to expect questions from those being newly introduced.
At Praytell, we built a resource of FAQs and outlined more ways to implement usage beyond email signatures. We’re sharing it here because we know it’s not just about inclusivity within our walls — it’s about the snowball effect this can have in employees’ lives, with our clients and partners, and at other workplaces looking to do the same.
Why do pronouns matter?
You wouldn’t call someone by the wrong name, would you? Addressing people by their proper pronouns is a sign of respect and affirmation of their identity. Honoring our colleagues’ personhood is, put simply, the Praytell way.
The best way to consistently do this? By sharing our pronouns!
But, I feel like my outward presentation matches my gender identifier. Shouldn’t it be obvious?
Whether you’re cis (AKA your personal identity and gender corresponds with your assigned sex from birth) or not, it’s important to normalize the use and sharing of pronouns in the workplace and beyond—which is part of why we’re doing it at Praytell and setting this example for our clients and the industry at large.
We want to be proactive in creating a world where every individual, of all genders and gender expressions, feels affirmed, safe and celebrated, rather than adding to the burdens some face in being misgendered or enduring awkward interrogations.
Even if you feel like your pronouns may be obvious, you sharing them creates a safer space for others. Worth it!
A colleague told me their pronouns are he/they. I’m confused! Which should I use?
It’s okay to be confused — it’s new to you! All you have to do is respect it, and the way to do that is by using either of those pronouns. If you’re trying to go further, you can consider using “he” in one sentence and “they” in another (this can also help cue in others). Alternatively, you could use “they” throughout.
Just like so much else, pronouns mean different things to different people. You may have heard terms such as transgender, nonbinary, genderqueer, gender nonconforming, two-spirit, and more. Each of these has a definition that expands on the range of how people do or don’t fit within the gender spectrum, and use of multiple pronouns exists in that same realm of expanding on what has previously been established to fit more identities.
I’m trans/nonbinary/genderqueer but not ready to share that with my colleagues. Do I have to share my pronouns?
No! Sharing pronouns is definitely not required, and these guidelines are meant to create a more inclusive environment, so whatever that means for you, we encourage it. Just be sure to communicate anything that you want colleagues to know in order for you to feel safe and respected.
Crap, I messed up and misgendered someone (AKA referred to them by the wrong pronoun). What do I do?
Take a deep breath. Don’t make it a big deal or focus on your guilt. If the moment allows (aka in private) acknowledge your misstep, apologize, and move on.
I witnessed someone else misgendering someone. What do I do?
There are a few ways to address this, but always be sure not to overstep. Find out in private if the person wants you to correct others on their behalf.
If so, do it tactfully. Chime into the conversation like normal, but make a point of using the right pronouns so that others hear them. If that doesn’t enforce a correction, follow up by explicitly stating that so-and-so’s pronouns are xyz. Then help the conversation continue.
Now that you’re a pronouns pro (see what we did there?) here’s a few suggestions for where and how to share them:
- Email: Put them in your signature!
- Slack: We’ve added a new custom profile field, so when you edit your Slack profile, there’s a place to add your pronouns.
- Zoom: When you join a Zoom meeting, you have the option to edit the name it will display in your frame. Consider adding your pronouns in parentheses after your name.
- Client meetings: Whether or not this is in-person or virtual, and regardless of whether there’s a deck that shows pronouns, this is a great time to normalize pronoun sharing. During intros with a new client, work this in! AKA “Hello, I’m [NAME], my pronouns are [PRONOUNS] and I’m a [TITLE] here at Praytell.”
When in doubt...
Be more creative with your language! If you’re in a group where you’re unsure of everyone’s pronouns, use language and greetings that can be applied to all genders, rather than accidentally alienating someone:
“Welcome, all!”
“Great job, folks!”
“Hello, Praytellians!”
“Thanks, team.”
“Hi, friends.”
Regional adjustments:
Take into consideration that protocols around pronouns can differ by region.
Questions about pronouns or Praytell’s inclusion initiatives? Reach out to pronouns@praytellagency.com or hello@praytellagency.com
About Praytell Prism: Praytell Prism is a safe and open space to celebrate the commonalities and differences in our experiences as LGBTQIA+ people and allies, cultivating fellowship, impacting agency work, and ensuring a progressively inclusive future within and beyond Praytell.